This is Totally Not About Gay Marriage

So, there's been a lot of judgement and opinions coming from people about a particular subject lately. It's an extremely divisive issue, and although it seems like most people are perfectly accepting of the lives and preferences of others, there are still some holdouts who decide that they know what's best for everyone, that everyone should be exactly like them, and that furthermore, it should be illegal for others to have the same rights if they have different preferences. I'm talking, of course, on the subject of bagels and bear claws.

Meow, I don't know when I realized I liked bagels. I just kind of always did. Like most people, I probably came to realize it early on in my childhood when I saw bagels at the mall, and in movies and TV. They looked really appetizing, but they were always hiding behind toppings and wrappers, so I looked up bagels on the internet, where such things can be found in their natural state. My God... the beautiful, curvy shapes, the soft, inviting center hole, it was a whole new world. By the time I was able to sink into a bagel for myself, I was hooked. I'd eat one every day if I could.

Now, sure most guys like bagels, and most girls like bear claws. It's just science. Personally, I don't care for bear claws, something about the stickiness and the large, powerful shape doesn't do it for me. I just prefer the smell and feel of a good bagel in my hands, but beyond that, I feel like you simply like what you like, you can't really say why. I can tell you some good things about my preference, but that's not to say other people don't have a completely different taste. The thought process that it's a choice implies that everyone likes both equally, and just arbitrarily decides on one or the other. Some people actually do like both, and that's cool too. I never made a conscious choice to like bagels, it's just how I am. But even though I love bagels, I'm not telling other guys they can't like bear claws. It's got absolutely nothing to do with me.

I don't really understand why someone else's preference bothers some people so much. You are a woman who likes bear claws or a man who likes bagels, okay, good for you. Why does it bother you that some other guys love downing bear claws? Some girls like tickling their fingers into a bagel, whatever. What does that have to do with you? Nobody told you that you had to stop liking what you like. Just enjoy what you enjoy and let others do the same. It's very simple.

Personally, I feel like a lot of the hatred and judgement comes from deep-seeded fears and repressed feelings that maybe you don't like your favorite baked good as much as you tell yourself you do. Maybe if you tell people that it's disgusting for a man to like bear claws, they won't suspect that perhaps you kinda like them too, deep down. I could be wrong, but psychological reasoning makes much more sense to me than my next point.

Alright, so you're hiding behind the fact that your religion says you have to enjoy a specific baked good, or it's a sin. Well, that's one tiny section of one chapter in that book, and are you really following every little piece of that text? Because a lot of that stuff is completely ass-backwards crazy, and I guarantee you don't listen to all of it. ...Because it's crazy. Riddle me this, Batman; Do you do any of the following:

You wear gold? Dress unmodestly? Have tattoos? Divorced? Watch porn? Masturbate? Eat ham, bacon, lobster, shrimp, or oysters? Touch a pig-skinned football? Work on saturdays (which we conveniently changed to sunday) or enjoy watching people working on sunday, aka football players? Or spend money in a place that is open on Sundays? If you're a woman, do you speak in church?  Ever engage in pre-marital sex? Shave your beard or allow your hair past your neck? Eat anything with fat in it or cooked in fat like fried or sauteed food?? Wear clothes made of two different fabrics???

All of those things are right up there with the one that you somehow cannot stand, and also refuse to allow others to enjoy. If you truly believe all the bat-shit crazy stuff that was written, changed, decided upon by whoever was ruling at the time, and then re-written thousands of years ago, then fine. Listen to all of it. Take your crusade from bashing and protesting people who simply have different tastes than you on one tiny segment of this book, and take it to EVERYONE who does anything I just listed. Including yourself.